Carrying the burden of bad choices, memories, and traumas is heavy AF.
If you want to learn from them then learn. Anytime you can squeeze even one lesson out of the bullshit is a good thing...but for the love of God DO NOT carry your past mishaps like a badge of shame.
Everybody fumbles up every now and again...especially if you were trying to do something different and new.
Put yesterday down. It's too damn heavy.