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KEEP IT CUTE

KEEP IT CUTE - STEP ONE

The Lesson

Owning your s*t is power. It's basically saying: "I could work on this. Let me work on this," but sometimes we make it out to be way more than that when we don't have to. Just own your sh*t and work on yourself. Simple.

The Homework

Pay close attention to AND keep track of how often you attempt to dodge accountability for YOUR actions; no matter how uncomfortable it may feel. Admit to yourself when you know you could have done better AND promise to do better the next time you get another opportunity to make a better choice for yourself, your life, and your community.

The Challenge

Your challeng is to resist the urge to make excuses for or 'make light' of your behavior and TRY to pinpoint how your actions effected others positively as well as negatively.

STEP ONE:

accountability

KEEP IT REAL

Own Your Shit. Period. You know whether you put in 100% or not and if you didn't put in 100%, don't walk around acting like you DESERVE 100%.  That is what taking ownership of your shit means.  It means you hold yourself accountable when you fall short so that you can make sure you don't fall short the next time.  It means checking yourself LONG before any other human being ever has a chance to. 

LESSON: "Own Your Sh*t!"

HOMEWORK: "Keep Track!"

CHALLENGE: "Practice!"

A portrait of an attractive African American female with perfect makeup and African pigtai
A portrait of an attractive African American female with perfect makeup and African pigtai

STEP TWO:

emotional iq

KEEP IT RAW.

Not knowing your triggers is a recipe for disaster.

One of the hardest pills to swallow is accepting responsibility for your triggers. That means that nobody is responsible for unknowingly triggering you.  It is YOUR responsibility to know what makes you tick and that requires that you develop your Emotional IQ.​​

LESSON: "Know Your Triggers!"

HOMEWORK: "Feel Your Feels!"

CHALLENGE: "STAY COOL!"

The Lesson

How well do you know yourself? Do you know what riggers your anger? Sadness? Laughter? This is important information because when you know your triggers, you can manage them better when they come up. Why is this important? Because how can you 'keep it Cute' when you not only are unaware of your triggers but you lack a strategy to manage them should they arise in public? Sit with what that might look like for you.

The Homework

"Sani, Creator of The Cutie Booty Magazine here with the Homework assignment. Practice LIGHTLY triggering yourself. Emphasis on 'Lightly.' We are not Psychologists nor do we play one on TV. For example, I have a terrible fear of opening cupboards. I once lived in an apartment that had A LOT of roaches back when my Mother had a mental breakdown. Mommy wasn't in her right mind to pay for an exterminator or contact the landlord to help us remedy the problem so it just got worse and worse. Whenever I would go in our cupboards back then, it wasn't uncommon for a roach to fall out of the cupboard. I had one drop into my bowl of cereal before. Because of that I'm always a little weary of opening people's cupboards. For years I would get physically nauseous after watching people grab dishes and serve them to me without washing them. I had to take it on the chin because I didn't want to seem stuck up especially to people who were humble serving me! So, in order to get over this 'trigger' MY 'homework' was to challenge myself to open as many cupboards as I could to feel the genuine anxiety I associated with doing this very basic action AND to create a new experience where I can open cupboards without worrying that roaches will fall out of nowhere. I had to retrain how I thought about cupboards. I still get a little uncomfortable about people's cupboards but it's not to the point where I'm getting nauseaus. Now it's your turn. Find a harmless trigger like this one and work on it. If you have more concerning triggers please see a professional, Cutie because I certainly do!"

The Challenge

The challenge is in how you handle being triggered. This why you should start with something 'light' that you can handle. It's not so much about you 'triggering yourself' as it is about you exposing yourself to what triggers you so that you can learn what YOU need to learn about YOUR triggers. It's uncomfortable work but in order to get over our emotional triggers we have to 'feel' the feelings associated with those triggers in order to not be overwhelmed by them.

The Lesson

Your Network truly is your Net Worth. Your friends have an effect on your quality of life in your trials and your triumphs. Think about how helpful it would be to have friends that are there for you in rough time versus friends who only have time for us when we're doing good. Also consider how it would feel having a friend that is perfectly comfortable celebrating your wins with you without a HINT of jealousy. Sit and think about how that

The Homework

Vet your crew. This will be challenging if if you've never analyzed them before. Does their behavior align with who your morals and vice versa? Do you feel like they are a good or bad influence on your life? What does 'hanging out' look like? Do you enjoy spending time with them because of who they are or because of what you think they can do for you? These questions are uncomfortable and they're supposed to be. It's work. Home work.

The Challenge

There is a saying that goes 'It's not what you do but how you do it' and hat's the BEST. way to describe this challenge. Vetting your circle is tough work. You will begin to see things you may not have paid attention to in the past. A huge part of this challenge is being able to practice 'Emotional IQ' to find out the information you need Your challenge is to do so without shying away from the results of what you learn no matter how uncomfortable things may become for you as a result of you doing this work. Remain Calm. People learning that not everyone is their group is good for them is totally normal. How you respond to learning that someone is no longer a good fit for you friendship is all apart of 'Keepin it Cute.'

STEP THREE:

network

KEEP IT RARE

Your network should be flexible enough to grow and change with you.​  The minute you feel like your circle is constricting you from the growth you know you must experience in order to become who you want, you need to reassess said circle.​​

LESSON: "Network = Net Worth"

HOMEWORK: "Vet Your Circle"

CHALLENGE: "STAY COOL!"

A portrait of an attractive African American female with perfect makeup and African pigtai
A portrait of a young beautiful African American female with perfect makeup on a white bac

THE TEST

C

CEASE

U

UNDERSTAND

T

THINK

E

EMBRACE

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